As former CEO of SRT™ and current Head of Design with FCA™, I am pleased to announce glorious changes within our company.
My new boss has informed me of his intentions of changing the corporate fascia to the RAM ‘Stache™ found on such models as the RAM™ Power Wagon™.
Also on the table is dropping the Hellcat engine into various...products. We believe we can turn FCA into a lifestyle brand. Does your Maytag have a 707hp spin cycle? We thought so. We haven’t figured out what we’re doing about all the brands we have, but I can say spinning the Journey™ off into its own brand specifically for anyone with a pulse (or not, money is money!) has been a consideration.
Following in the footsteps of the great Mergio, the majority of my responses will be limited to the Front Page and only in articles relating to FCA™. The tone of said comments will be similarly satirical, however relating to my wheelhouse at FCA.
This Oppositelock post is more of an announcement of my arrival on Kinja than anything. See you around!
Note: This is a parody account that doesn’t reflect any actual statements from FCA.