It has come to my attention that my RAM/Jeep colleague is now running FCA

As former CEO of SRT™ and current Head of Design with FCA™, I am pleased to announce glorious changes within our company.

Illustration for article titled It has come to my attention that my RAM/Jeep colleague is now running FCA
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My new boss has informed me of his intentions of changing the corporate fascia to the RAM ‘Stache™ found on such models as the RAM™ Power Wagon™.

Illustration for article titled It has come to my attention that my RAM/Jeep colleague is now running FCA
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Also on the table is dropping the Hellcat engine into various...products. We believe we can turn FCA into a lifestyle brand. Does your Maytag have a 707hp spin cycle? We thought so. We haven’t figured out what we’re doing about all the brands we have, but I can say spinning the Journey™ off into its own brand specifically for anyone with a pulse (or not, money is money!) has been a consideration.

Illustration for article titled It has come to my attention that my RAM/Jeep colleague is now running FCA
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Following in the footsteps of the great Mergio, the majority of my responses will be limited to the Front Page and only in articles relating to FCA™. The tone of said comments will be similarly satirical, however relating to my wheelhouse at FCA.

This Oppositelock post is more of an announcement of my arrival on Kinja than anything. See you around!

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Note: This is a parody account that doesn’t reflect any actual statements from FCA.

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